One Year....

One year...I thought this day would never come nor did I really want it to come. Tonight I sit here and remember that awful moment that my world stopped. One year......you were taken from me. I unexpectedly stumbled across the audio of lets call it "The Celebration of Your Life" that sounds so much better than funeral, in which it was a celebration of your life even though I felt like mine was over. That day at your celebration I don't remember it very well. Yes bits and pieces come back to my memory, so listening to this audio DVD let me experience the celebration instead of remembering the tragic moment that my soul mate was forever gone. I listened to Travis' words tonight that he said that day he said in 1st Thessalonians 5:18 " Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  He also said this is one of the hardest things but since it is God's word we have to do it. Travis, you are right, this is so hard to give thanks, how are we suppose to give thanks when we don't understand or want to accept what has just happened, but again Travis you are right this is God's word so we will give thanks, So thank you Randall for being my soul mate, for showing me what true love feels like, Thank you for my children, Thank you for the laughter, Thank you for the gentleness, Thank you for protecting me, Thank you most of all for LOVING ME!  We celebrate your life and we give thanks in all circumstances!

I also found my letter that I wrote you the night before you life celebration, I was hoping they had put it with you but since it didn't I will hold it close to my heart. And tonight I want to tell you again:

Dear Randall,
  So many thoughts go through my head as I sit here tonight wondering how to say goodbye to the man I love, but the thing is my love I don't want to say good bye so therefore I will just say I will see you in God's time. I will see you when I look at our beautiful children that you have blessed me with. I know they will have their daddy's love, your spirit and your strength, that you have also given me.
  Honey these past seven years have truly been the greatest and best years of my life. We have shared so much together. You were not only my husband but you were the love of my life, my best friend and my rock. You taught me so much, I feel so blessed to have been loved by you. The love we had and will always have for each other will never be taken away. I will carry that in my heart forever.
  Randall, I want you to know me and the girls will be ok because you taught us to be strong to live. God never fails us, he makes us stronger in his faith and love to keep living, always know my love you will forever will be with us and we will always love you.
  "As my Husband, you have gone the extra mile more times than one. You are my husband, my friend, and my soul mate."
   I love you Randall and until we meet again rest in peace my love and I will see you in God's time!
                                                              Love...Tiffany (Your Loving Wife)

So Randall I will say this again we will be ok because you live within us. You have given us hope to see you once again in God's time. We just ask you to keep protecting us, to be our guardian angel. We also ask to let us not forget and always remember your love because it was so strong, so intoxicating, and so real. You will forever be my soul mate and I will love you always. I miss you so much, the girls miss you so much. So again I say I will see you in God's time.
                                                            Love....Tiffany (Your Loving Wife)