8/18/12

I have had an emotional day today honey. I have put our house up for sale. Mitzi came over today and I signed all the paper work and we put the for sale sign in the yard. I didn't realize how much it would make me emotional. I knew the day I actually sale it would be sad but today is sad. Its sad because I feel like I am finalizing the final chapter of our life here in this house. It saddens me that the house we bought to raise our family in will someday be someone elses, someone else will raise their family here. This is when I get angry, angry that you left me behind here by myself to feel the loneliness and the absence of you. Here to raise our girls with out you. Here to make the decisions that normally husband and wife, father and mother make together not alone. Here for the good and the bad. I am mad at you for that I am mad that you are not here to hold me, to talk to me, and help me with the kids, i feel like some days I am losing my mind and today is one of those days. I am mad, mad that you are gone. Why did you get on that stupid ATV....uggggghhh. Randall Rogers good thing you are in heaven right now because if you were hear we would be having a little come to Jesus meeting.

Through all the madness I still love you and I miss you everyday that is why I get so mad because I do miss you and I do love you. I want you here with me through the good and the bad. I want to feel your arms around me when you kiss my forehead, when you annoyingly brush your hand across my butt, I even miss the consistent text message or phone call on my lunch break asking what I was having for lunch and is it or was it good..lol..that used to bug the heck out of me but it was the first thing i noticed my first day back to work after you passed away. Its amazing how you miss the little things.

Randall I hope people have learned from your passing that life is too short to hold tight of your loved ones and count your blessings for all the little stuff that might annoy you now are actually the precious things that make your marriage unique and so special. So folks hug your spouse tonight tell them you love them even if you really want to claw their eyes out because you never know what tomorrow will bring. Live life to the fullest and make sure you tell your loved ones that you love them everyday!!!!!

I love you Randall Rogers, always do and always will....good night my angel!!!