I have missed you today, oh how I have missed you. So I finally had my first night by myself with just the girls since you have been gone, and it went just fine. I finally put my big girl panties on, yea me!!! LOL! And then the girls and I went to the lake. Tess had a blast she played in the mud and ran all over the place. She warmed my heart and made me laugh, her and KK were picking flowers and she walked up to me with her sweet smile and big blue eyes and acted like she was about to give me a bouquet of flowers and then took them backed and walked off....idian giver...LOL!! She is such a mess, never a dull moment with that one. Riley did well also. Me on the other hand though I put a smile on my face, had some good laughs and enjoyed being there in the same breath I felt like I was crumbing inside. I kept picturing you there, hearing your laughter on the front porch it just wasnt the same with out you there. It just isnt the same with out you here. I know in time things supposedly will get easier but the process is so painful. I am so glad I went to the lake because it was another stepping stone and I look forward to the many other trips there but again I miss you, I need you there, I want you here. We had so many good times that its hard to even remember any bad times. You made me smile even when you got on my ever loving last nerve.
You know I wonder everyday what is the purpose of this journey God has started me on. Why was I chosen to live a life with out you and our girls with out their daddy. I have faith that we will be ok because I know our God is mighty but I just cant help but wonder why.
I know in my heart honey you are happy and that makes me happy. I miss you but I now I will see you one day and what a wonderful day that will be. Until then watch over us my love, keep us safe and let us feel your love. We love you so much.
Forever in my heart,
Tiffany
i love you, tiff! i'm picturing randall reading this, and i can see him smiling :)
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